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Peanut and the crows - too funny!
Wednesday Apr 19, 2006 02:10:00 PM
(REAL Family Press - 4/19/06 - copyrighted Linda Nelson AKA "The Lady")
Morning, Y’all… For as long as I have had the privilege of taking care of the puppers and providing them with a home, I have never ever had a day when I didn’t get at least ONE major “giggle ‘til the middle jiggles” or “laugh until you cry” episodes… Yesterday was no exception either… LOL…
I think y’all all know by now just how much I despise those *&?!^%& crows… Not simply because they prey on the songbirds and their babies around here, or because some of the bigger ones make it a hobby of theirs to peck at and destroy anything shiny that’s at their level…
It’s not even because of that ridiculous “group participation” thingy they do to gather on my roof and collectively “tap-tap-tap” at my skylight… A few of them seem to enjoy it immensely to stand there (once having gotten my attention) to look down through the skylight at me, turning their head from side to side with those dark black beady eyes and mock me, ‘cause they know my power is only as great as the end of my broomstick… They haven’t popped a hole in the screen of the skylight yet… (I did say “yet”)… But it’s just a matter of time – you mark my words…
And I’m POSITIVE they just LOVE to see me fly out of my garage in my pajamas and robe some mornings, fussin’ at them… “Shoo you crows – shoo! Get out of here!”… Despite any speed of my steps, they don’t even bother to fly away~~!!!… They just walk a bit faster and if there’s even a chance I’ll catch one of them varmints, they’ll fly up to the gable of the house and look down at me as if to say “Nanny-nanny boo-boo, you can’t catch me…”… LOL…
But the thing that gets to me the most is the absolute PURE arrogance they express with everything they do… Most every morning the crew starts at one end of the cul-de-sac and then make their way down the street to the other end of the cul-de-sac… There’s about 13-15 of them now…
Some walk on the sidewalks, most on the lawns and even some in the very middle of the street… But as they walk with that “step – head bob – step” swagger, stopping to poke at this plant or that stone, they do it with pure arrogance… Like they are they’re surveying THEIR domain and we’re just interlopers on their property… grrrrrrrrrrrr……….
There’s one of them who seems to be the ring leader who’s probably weighs in at about 20 pounds (seriously!)… I have named him “Vito” because it’s not that hard to imagine him sitting somewhere with the rest of his cronies, discussing today’s “take”… He’s pretty darned smart too… I’ve watched him do some amazing stuff in the past two years or so, but that’s another Press one day… LOL….
So anyway, yesterday the puppers had been outside in the back yard, doing their business… Runnin’ round… Loving life… I opened the back patio door and called – all but Peanut came in right away… Peanut looks at me, she knows it’s time for her to come in, but heads in another direction because she’s not yet done her business…
So I stand there at the back door, waiting for her to do “what a pup’s gotta do” and then come in…
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Vito swooping in on a slow decline with the intended destination being the grass in our backyard (which had gotten quite high recently)… Apparently Vito had been waiting for the dogs to vacate the backyard and apparently thought all had… WRONG~~!!!!
About ten feet away from Peanut and about four feet off the ground, Vito spots Peanut and does this highly comical “Oh SH&T” movement with his wings, flapping them like crazy and jerking himself up and down in jerky movements as he’s trying to regain lift and air underneath those massive wings to at least raise him the two or three feet that he needs to land on the back brick fence…
Then - almost at the same instant - Peanut spotted this huge crow coming in for a landing in HER backyard and OMG – the absolute NERVE of this crow~!!!.... She starts doing these mini jumps up into the air from an upright position on her back legs, doing her absolute best to just get her teeth into those black tail feathers which are just inches away from her mouth… Just inches~!!!...
From inside the house, I’m dying~!!... I’m literally dying~~!!... I’m watching this whole chain of events unfolding in front of my eyes between this huge black bird trying to stay out of this tiny Chihuahua’s mouth with all of his power… And as hard as he’s flapping his wings to remain airborne, Peanut’s jumping up and down to get just one teeny tiny bite into that crow’s rear end…
I don’t DARE laugh out loud because I’ll distract one of the two of them, but I’m just about doubled over in silent laughter… I’m also prepared to fly out the back door (literally) in the event Vito doesn’t clear the back fence… He’s big enough and mean enough to peck her eyes out without skipping a beat… So if he had landed and Peanuts were still out there, I knew I’d have run out to shoo him away for Peanuts’ own protection~~!!…
Vito JUST makes the back brick wall at the very last minute and then shakes his feathers off, proceeding down the fence with an attitude of “Yeah.. did you see what just happened?... Well, that’s what I planned to do all along.. Really!...” … And then he starts preening his feathers as they must have been bent all out of place when he turned on the nitro, trying to make that rapid ascent as he did…
I guess Peanuts figured that she’s not going to kick any “birdie butt” this time… So she heads back to the “I am going to smell this entire backyard until I find the perfect spot to deposit my previous poo” routine, restarting crisscrossing the backyard again… From the top of the brick back fence, Vito begins that ridiculous “step – head bob – step” movement, and begins to walk down the full length of the back fence…
Without warning, Peanuts finds the ultimate BEST spot to do her business…
I don’t know if you’ve ever watched a Chihuahua do this particular thing (LOL, probably not), but they have issues because of how their body is configured… I’m trying to stay delicate here, so bear with me, folks… LOL… But this particular dog breed has to REALLY curl themselves over into a ball to make this particular body function happen…
And while she’s in this position, I guess Vito got tired of waiting for her to go away… So Vito starts this large flapping movement with his wings at the same time as he starts running down the back fence in a “glump.. glump.. glump..” movement, trying to jump up and then fly away… Peanut is beyond the committed point (if you know what I mean) and she’s sorta/kind stuck in this “curled over Nautilus” position…
But the object of her desire (Vito) is about to move out of her range and she’s just SO close, ya know?... LOL… So she’s trying to walk, hop, run (well, sorta/kinda run) in this major bow-legged, doubled-over position, barking to beat the band as Vito gets airborne eventually and start sailing away…
You can just see the dejected expression on Peanuts’ face of “Oh well, folks… I tried… I really did… But what can you do, ya know?”…
By this point I have been laughing so hard (silently), that I’m doubled over, just about nauseated and can no longer hold it back any MORE… Peanuts sends me this curious look as if “what’s with you, Mom?”, does a few of those Moonwalk steps with her two back feet and then makes a beeline for me as I’m still standing by the back patio door waiting ... LOL… Like I said, every day is a full joy of unexpected pleasures~~!!... Ya gotta love ‘em~!!
As Always, The Lady
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